I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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