my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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