Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
