I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
