Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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