508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
