Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
