i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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