Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
