Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I want is dick and wine.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
