My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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