she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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