hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
