Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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