I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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