...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
