oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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