oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
