I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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