what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm like, not good at living.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
