butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
