now i know why i became what i already was.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
