Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
