Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
