Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
what day is it and did you see me today?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize