Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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