While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
