Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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