just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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