I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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