Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize