Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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