Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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