i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drake has all the answers
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
