what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize