Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
