Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
