Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
