So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
