My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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