so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
