i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
