why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
