you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
