I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
