Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
false alarm, still single
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
