worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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