is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
