a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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