i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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