Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
