I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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