we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize