Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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