hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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