STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
