What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
