I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
