The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
