why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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